Program Lyrics

WHEN MUSIC SOUNDS, Ronald Perera

1. When Music Sounds

When music sounds, gone is the earth I know,
And all her lovely things even lovelier grow;
Her flowers in vision flame, her forest trees
Lift burdened branches, stilled with ecstasies.
When music sounds, out of the water rise
Naiads whose beauty dims my waking eyes,
Rapt in strange dreams burns each enchanted face,
With solemn echoing stirs their dwelling place.
When music sounds, all that I was I am
Ere to this haunt of brooding dust I came;
And from Time’s woods break into distant song
The swift-winged hours, as I hasten along.

– Walter de la Mare

2. Music, When Soft Voices Die

Music, when soft voices die,
Vibrates in the memory;
Odours, when sweet violets sicken,
Live within the sense they quicken.
Rose leaves, when the rose is dead,
Are heap’d for the beloved’s bed,
And so thy thoughts, when thou art gone,
Love itself shall slumber on.

– Percy Bysshe Shelley

LUMINOUS NIGHT OF THE SOUL, Ola Gjeilo

Long before music was sung by a choir,
Long before silver was shaped in a fire,
Long before poets inspired the heart,
You were the Spirit of all that is art.
You give the potter the feel of the clay;
You give the actor the right part to play;
You give the author a story to tell;
You are the prayer in the sound of a bell.
Praise to all lovers who heed your desire!
Praise to all music which soars to inspire!
Praise to the wonders of Thy artistry
Our Divine Spirit, all glory to Thee.

– Charles Anthony Silvestri

O guiding night!
O night more lovely than the dawn!
O night that has united
the Lover with his beloved,
transforming the beloved in her Lover.

– St. John of the Cross

HERE I AM: I AM HERE, Andrea Clearfield

Based on texts by Mimi LeMay and Sam Brinton. Used with permission.

PART I: MIMI Prologue
Here I am (Soprano)

I: Here I am
It started with a birth (Chorus) I am here.
And then I heard you.
Here I am.

Narration (Mimi): A birth became my world, a world that began to collapse when I discovered the price my child would have to pay to live an authentic life. I prepared your sister and our home for your arrival – matching dresses in pink and purple... When we finally met, you were momentarily silent. You didn’t whimper, you didn’t cry, you roared “Here I am!”

It started with a birth (Chorus) Here I am! (Tenor solo)
Here I am! (Chorus)
Hello Princess. (Soprano solo) I’m your Mama.
I am here.

II: A Mother's Love (1) (soprano solo)
So how much do we love you?
Eternally.
The length and width of the universe, and then some. And then some.
And then some.
And then some... (Mimi: narrator) And then. and then... (chorus)

III: Our Em is a Quirky Girl
Our Em is a quirky girl. (Chorus)
No princess like her sister, that's for sure.
Only picking boy parts for role play these days. Role play, play acting, role
play, pretend.
Role play, play acting, role play, pretend.
(Soprano solo)
Call her James, or Jackson, or Max or Jake Even when no one else is play
acting.
Our Em is a quirky girl, quirky, quirky girl (Chorus) And Em. Hates. Pink!

Narration (Mimi): This is our Em. A unique spirit. A force to be reckoned with, our Em.

Our Em is a quirky girl. (Chorus)
No princess like her sister, so we think.
Wearing a tutu stinks!
Only wearing blue, black and grey
Role play, role play, blue, black, grey.
Our Em is a quirky girl, quirky girl, quirky, quirky girl. And Em. Hates. Pink!

Em is a Force!

At the Crossroads #1:
Soprano solo: I am here.
Tenor solo: Here I am (sung). I am a boy (whispered).
Chorus: (whispered texture) I am a boy, a boy.

IV: Not My Little Girl
Pretend, pretending, a boy, an obsession, a whim. (Chorus)
Not my little girl. (Soprano)
The clothing, the colors, the names, the punching and wailing and
screaming. (Chorus) Pretend, pretend, pretending a boy, an obsession, a
whim.
Not my little girl, not my baby girl, not happening. (Soprano)

Narration (Mimi): (over chorus) I am losing you, my precious daughter. You are slipping from my grasp, hurtling into a void. I feel helpless. My world is starting to unravel.

The clothing, the colors, the names, the punching and wailing and
screaming. (Chorus) Pretend, pretending, pretending a boy, another
obsession, a whim.
This is no game.
There is no pretend.
Transgender. Suicide risk.
What is the treatment? What is the cure?

Not my little girl, not my baby girl.
Not happening, not happening, please wake up! (Soprano)

V: Keep Things Fluid/Fracture (Chorus)

Narration (Mimi): I’m listening.

Keep things fluid (Chorus) Keep the door open.
Keep listening.

Soprano solo:
Keep things fluid Keep the door open. Keep listening.
Cut your hair, grey and blue, open-shut, boy and girl,
Cut your hair, grey and blue, home and school, living as two.
FRACTURE
Out of box, cut your hair, grey and blue, open-shut, boy and girl, home and
school, live as two, ride the storm.
FRACTURE
Cut your hair, out of box, grey and blue, open-shut, boy and girl, home and
school, live two lives, show support, ride the storm, listen more.
Keep things fluid.
Keep things fluid.
FRACTURE

PART II: SAM

VI: Here I am: I am here
It started, it started with a birth.
Here I am. (Chorus – reprise of opening)

Narration (Sam): It started when I was 11 and told my father I wasn’t interested in my friend's Playboy magazine but found Dale, a cute high school boy, “more interesting”.

It started with a birth. (Chorus) I am here. (Soprano)
Here I am. (Chorus and tenor)

Narration (Sam): My parents were both Southern Baptist missionaries. Out of their deeply held faith and misguided love, they took me to a conversion therapist to cure me of my homosexuality. He told me: "You are the only gay person left alive. All the rest have died of AIDS. You are an abomination in the sight of God.”

It started with a birth. (Chorus)
Here I am. (Chorus)
God hates me. God hates Sam. (Tenor)

VII: The Treatment/The Cure
Burning ice/touching men, burning cold/kissing men, burning, heating coils/ touching men, heating coils/holding men, needles, small needles, electric
shock/sex with men, electric shock/wanting men, wanting, hell on earth. I want to die. (Chorus)
I want to die. (Tenor)

Narration (Sam): My hands were bound to a table with leather straps. Blocks of ice were placed in each hand. My conversion ‘therapy’ consisted of images of men holding hands paired with physical pain. Then the ‘therapist’ used hot copper coils. Finally, he showed me images of men engaged in sexual acts while electrodes delivered shocks to my fingertips.

I want to die (Tenor Solo)

VIII: Dear God, Make Me Straight
(tenor and soprano solos with chorus)

Dear God, dear God, dear God, make me straight. Dear God, dear God,
make me straight. (Tenor Solo)

I will love you, if you just change. (Soprano Solo)

Dear God, dear God, dear God, make me change. Dear God, I’m dying.
This will kill me. Dear God, I am completely alone. (Tenor Solo)

Dear God, make him straight, make him change.
I will love you, if you just change. (Soprano Solo)

Save his soul, go to heaven, save your soul, just change (Chorus)

Dear God, dear God, make me straight.
Dear God, dear God, make me change. (Tenor Solo)

Just change. (Chorus)

I will love you again, if you just change. (Soprano Solo)
Dear God, dear God. (Tenor Solo)

At the Crossroads #2:
Alone. Sequestered. Hidden. Afraid. Stranded. Tortured. Ruined. God hates
me. Alone. Abandoned by God. Sequestered. Alone. To die. (Chorus)

Mommy, I tried. I really tried. (Tenor)

Narration (Sam): I was going to jump off the roof, and my mom found me. I told her that God had changed me. I lied. I wanted the pain to stop. I knew it was a sin to lie, but it was a greater sin to die by suicide. Mommy, I tried.

MIMI
At the crossroads #3
Lost, stranded, walls, shutting down, pain, doesn’t belong...with the girls,
with the boys. Lost. Em’s pain. Em’s palpable pain. Em is lost at the
crossroads. (Chorus)

Narration (Mimi): You cried: “What’s wrong with my body? Why did God make me like this?”

Em’s Lost. Show her the way. (Chorus)
What is the way? (Narrator: Mimi)
How can we know, at the crossroads? (Chorus)
What if? (Narrator: Mimi)

IX: A Mother’s Love (2) (Soprano solo with chorus)
So how much do we love you?
Eternally.
The length and width of the universe, and then some. And then some.
And then some.

Narration (Mimi): You sat at the edge of a gaggle of girls...and looked up at a group of boys being disciplined by their mothers for running amok...and the look on your face skewered me. It was a hunger I had never seen before. You weren’t confused. You knew where you belonged.

X: The time is now
Tenor solo: I want to be a boy, always. I want to be a boy named Jacob.

Soprano solo: I believe you.

Chorus: We believe you.

You know where you belong.

Soprano solo: Jacob, my love.

EPILOGUE: Love Letters
A letter to My Younger Self: “Oh beautiful, Little Sam”

Oh, little, beautiful Sam. There’s nothing to change. You are a perfect,
beautiful little child. Live life, little Sam, and know that you are loved. (Tenor)

Narration (Sam): Oh, little beautiful Sam. I, the grown up you, your fairy godmother, am here to tell you that you tried more than you ever should have. I wish I could have been with you on the rooftop when you tried to take your life. But I am here now, to thank you for surviving. [You will live to meet your love on a special day. And it will feel beautiful. You will ask him to marry you, and he will say yes]. Live life, little Sam, and know that you are loved.

A Letter to My Son: “Jacob, my love”

Narration (Mimi): I have seen and wish to share remarkable things. In those early days as Jacob, I saw the most authentic parts, in the deepest reaches of you, begin to unfold. I saw you take your first huge breaths. At first there was a silence, as you paused to take in the new world around you, and then you roared: I AM HERE!! It was then that I realized that we had indeed met before, but I had not truly recognized you that first time. [It was then that my grief began to depart.]

Soprano solo:
I knew in my soul that you had always been my son, Jacob. And so always,
All my love, Mom.

Chorus:
Here I am. I am here.

Narration (Sam): Live life, little Sam.
Narration (Mimi): Jacob, my love, always, my love.

Chorus:
You are loved. I am here.